IRAQ WAR ENDS and other great headlines in today’s (fake) New York Times (courtesy of The Yes Men).

Caution: DO NOT DRINK MILK WHILE WATCHING THIS VIDEO. You have been warned!

Via The Poor Man Institute.

With our economy in crisis, the US Government is scrambling to rescue our banks by purchasing their “distressed assets”, i.e., assets that no one else wants to buy from them. We figured that instead of protesting this plan, we’d give regular Americans the same opportunity to sell their bad assets to the government. We need your help and you need the Government’s help!

Use our form to submit bad assets you’d like the government to take off your hands. And remember, when estimating the value of your 1997 limited edition Hanson single CD “MMMbop”, it’s not what you can sell these items for that matters, it’s what you think they are worth. The fact that you think they are worth more than anyone will buy them for is what makes them bad assets.

Sums up the financial crisis more succinctly and amusingly than anything else I’ve seen. The term “big shitpile” originates with my favorite blogger, Atrios.

Schwartz was candid about how he envisioned change under a McCain presidency.

“Less taxes and more war,” he said, smiling. He said the U.S. should “bomb the hell” out of Iran because the country threatens Israel.

Asked by the interviewer how America would pay for a military confrontation with Iran, he said the U.S. should take the country’s resources.

“We should plant a flag. Take the oil, take the money,” he said. “We deserve reimbursement.”

A few hours after the interview, an unknown woman helped herself to Schwartz’s resources.

The Schwartz in question was a Colorado delegate to the Republican National Convention in St. Paul, Minnesota. After Sarah Palin’s acceptance speech, he met a woman at the hotel bar, invited her back to his $319-a-night room, she told him to get naked while she fixed the drinks… and that’s the last thing he remembers; he awoke to discover she had taken, among other things,

…a $30,000 watch, a $20,000 ring, a necklace valued at $5,000, earrings priced at $4,000 and a Prada belt valued at $1,000

The whole article is worth a read…

An oldie but goodie — and possibly the best beat boxing I’ve ever seen. Hilarious!

This one is definitely Not Safe For Work. Hilarious, however…
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Hitler:

My man Harry Shearer has done it again. You simply *must* listen to this track… freakin’ awesome. It’s from his weekly radio program Le Show, which airs on KCRW in Santa Monica (and is heard throughout the world… except in Boston!).

He sets Fox News’s E.D. Hill to music… priceless.

Headline on the BBC News Website:

Great tits cope well with warming

I wish I could make this shit up.