Long before anyone had heard of the Internet, early home computer users could read their morning newspapers online … sort of. Steve Newman’s 1981 story was broadcast on KRON San Francisco.

It was Season 18, Episode 22 of The Simpsons when Kent Brockman lost his job for swearing on the air. Encouraged and prodded by Lisa, Brockman decides to air his anti-corporate views via a webcast, which begins, “Good evening. Thank you for inviting me into your laps.” (!!Declicious!!)

BTW – that link will take you to a site called WatchTVSitcoms.com. Among other niceties, it appears to have an archive of every Simpsons episode ever aired. Just in case, you know, you haven’t wasted enough time on teh Intertubes today.

And just for kicks, here’s Kent Brockman’s entire webcast rant:

Good evening. Thank you for inviting me into your laps.

Friends, the press and the Government are in bed together in an embrace so intimate and wrong, they could spoon on a twin bed and still have room for Ted Koppel.

Journalists used to question the reasons for war, and expose the abuse of power. Now, like toothless babies, they suckle on the sugary teat of misinformation, and poop it into the diaper we call “The Six O’Clock News.”

Demand more of your government. Demand more of your press! Vote out your so-called “representatives!” Reject your corporate masters! Buy nothing! Hug your children! Love the one you’re with.

The difference between a hug, and mercury, is “U”!

Okay, this did make me sad right now (for personal reasons) but it is really beautiful. Lovely song as well.

Continuing Steve’s Star Wars motif…

Boston.com offers these easy instructions to help you hallucinate with common household items.

ping pong hallucination

h/t Watson

They’re still at it:

Governor Deval Patrick said today that he was interested in placing tolls on vehicles on interstate highways at the state’s borders and that his administration had already contacted the federal government, which would need to give its permission, about the idea.

“What I would love to see is … border tolls at all of the interstate entrances, maybe Route 3 as well. In other words, Vermont, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, Connecticut, New York. If we did that right, it would be possible to remove all of the tolls inside of the Commonwealth.”

Patrick rediscovers a timeless political solution: Raise the taxes paid by people who can’t vote against you!

The Economist gets my prize of the day for most excellent article title, “The Frat Boy Ships Out.” Don’t take it personally if you ever were in a frat, it’s just a thing. But whoooweee am I glad this shithead is done.

Looking forward to something different.

This is how US Airways delivers the bad news:

A “Hirohito Moment” is a vast understatement, after the Emperor’s surrender broadcast in 1945: “Despite the best that has been done by everyone . . . the war situation has developed not necessarily to Japan’s advantage.” Popularized by the blogger Billmon.

This is the “status exception” in question: